Be aware, be aware, the wedding season is coming soon to Malaysia. Haha.
Malaysian's wedding compared to Japanese wedding is totally more merrier as the more people attend to witness the happiest day of the couple's life. Malay weddings are bigger in scale, actually in any scale-Budget, Venue, VIPs. It's more of a culture than a ceremony.
Malays are mostly muslims here in Malaysia. Therefore, the ceremony is likewise to consist of compulsary Aqad(something like Sales & Purchase agreement) and of course the lunch/dinner, originally as a sedeqah(alms) to the guests who had take effort to attend and celebrate the married couple. That is the compulsary ceremony. The main reason to a wedding ceremony is to of course, celebrate the couple who are accomplishing one of the BIG task and to prevent the spread of rumours of the two couples when they are spotted in a "married couple" manner elsewhere.(alaaaa.. macam pegang2 tangan gitu-> holding hands between a man and a woman who are their ajnabi is a SIN. Please do not ask why people are still sinning even though it is clearly a sin. Kawin sajalah!)
Anyways, "so-called" traditional and culture weddings consists of the below;
1. Merisik (Seeking the availability of a girl of the house)
-> Of course, usually the male side will have an informal meet (maybe the groom and the future FIL) to confirm the sincerity and to confirm his sanity of making sure he knows what his getting into===> Marriage!
2. Bertunang (Engagement)
-> The normal engagement comes with an engagement ring. This is mostly not Islamic, because there is no such rule to BOOKING a bride :P. More of a Western Culture, mainly for the following reasons;
- Both families have time to get to know each other better instead of from the sons/daughter's story. Reality check! Both families have the right to know what they ae gtting into, of course.
- To buy some time for the groom to get arrangements in terms of MONEY. Haha. Well, not everyone is a Rich Man's Son, right?
As per stated ealier, this is a Sales&Purchase ceremony between the Father of the Bride to the Groom. When the father of the bride is unavailable of any such reasons, the next male family in line isresponsible to take the Father's position. Mainly; Brother/Uncles/2nd Uncles/Judge.
- Please be aware, if the Bride is an illegitimate child(anak luar nikah), the Father has NO RIGHT to marry of his daugther. Because he is not the lawful father of the child. In this case, the Father's position is directly exchanged to a JUDGE.
- Please also be aware that if the Sales & Purchase (Akad) ceremony is not complete, the bride and groom MUST re-Akad before they could do an intercourse or even bear a child! If they do not re-Akad correctly, the are sinned to Adaultry and the decendants are not to be family-named to the father. If the S&P ceremony is not complete in a valid manner, (correct Wali, enough and correct Witness, a valid tok Kadi etc.) the decendants correct status will not be cleared and will continuously evolve to a non-valid relationship. Nau'zubillah!
4. Reception (I will skip the merewang, marhaban etc. because they are optional just to make the ceremony merrier)
Lunch/Dinner depending on the schedule of the reception. Pergghh.. Malays are so damn competitive when it comes to reception ceremony. Of, course the married couples are considered "Raja Sehari", they are accomplanied with the "kompang", cute escort children, to their Bridal Seat where theVIPs, elders, relatives throw a few drops of rosewater to their hands(when sometimes I do see them throwing at the couple's attire) as a kind of blessing. This culture more originated from the Hindu's and the Jawa culture. Hey, we are 1Malysia ALL the time, eversince a LONG time ago :P
Eventhough the reception is also a type of alm to the guests and celebration to the couples, may I remind that if you start to eat before the Raja Sehari, you are claimed to be a Rebellious Servant. Haha! No, we will never throw you out of the reception. Hehe.
The "Grand"ness of the wedding also differs by their financial status. For example, a-little-under-waiged-family would have to cook for their own guests, seek help from their neighbours to save budget. The atmosphere would appear to be merrier despite the hot/rainy weather in Malaysia. So, the set of mind is important when you attend their weddings. Get ready to dirt some shoes!
A-little-above-waiged-family may be able to tender a caterer so that they do not have to cook for themselves. Sometimes, they might be doing the reception in their own yard instead in a town hall in the community. This also varies by the price of per head count of the catering which can range from RM5.50~RM20.00/head???
An-Over-Waiged-Family may be able to get the receptions in big famous Halls right smack in the City. They are probably able to rent the halls, pay for the expensive props and high quality-tv like photographers and video makers. Haha.
No, I am not prejudice(betul ke?). I am no Sa-Betsu. Just that upon my observations all the years, the grandness/royalty-like of the reception can be concluded to the above :)
It doesn't matter which level of Finance and the way the reception would be like, it is important to not burden yourself in the making. It is so not worth to take up personal loans or pinjam dengan Ah-Long just to make "superb" wedding. It's the thought that counts :)
Why am I doing this post? Because I am partially in-charge of my sister in law wedding this Sunday. May all ends well, Amin!